We use lying for many reasons. For one, we use it to protect ourselves. Against what, is the question.
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Sometimes we protect ourselves against the feeling of shame, the experience of abuse or cruelty. We lie to protect ourselves, our close ones and our possessions. We lie to get our way and for attention. We are trying to maintain our image, hide our mistakes and failures.
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We lie for money, or resources. We lie on our taxes and for insurance, we cheat on our exams and embellish our skills at our jobs.
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We lie to our significant others during our arguments. Why do we lie so much? What does all that protection get us? If we do It so often, does that mean it works? That means they feel safe. It is important to understand that liars are often mistaken for malicious when they are just insecure. And you need to respond with compassion, rather than vindictiveness. Compassion is the key to improving relationships, stained by dishonesty.
Research has been conducted to study liars. Who lies, how often people lie, and why they lie. People were asked to keep a diary of all their conversations. Turns out, people lie sometimes out of habit. Regardless if there is anything to be gained or not. What is more interesting, some people are more often lied to than others.
There could be something about you in your face, in your responses, or in your image that tempts people to lie to you more than they would to other people. It could be a bad thing or a good thing. Or you could just be very honest and trusting. But it is crucial to understand that some people need to be more cautious of being lied to than others. Your high expectations make people lie to you in order to meet the high bar you are setting. You think highly of someone. And they want to stay close to you. But you give off the impression you are not just friends with anyone.
You only expect them to show you their best side.
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You are so valuable, they cannot afford to disappoint you. When they do see faults in themselves, they dread telling you. So they lie. To maintain their image and your friendship. They come from a good place. You have a high moral standard. Always doing the right thing, always taking the high way regardless if there is less traffic on it or not. You show that with your actions, and your behavior.
Or maybe you do. Or your parents do it for you. Or your friends do.
One Too Many Lies
The issue here is the psychology of disappointment. When someone interacts with another — a person with high moral standards, they have no desire, in fact they dread having to admit to their own failures. Imagine a situation between siblings. They fear contributing to their unfavorable reputation. It is the principle of the key and the padlock. One type of people will always attract another. Liars find the perfect victims. The trusting ones. It is your attractiveness.
It is not being physically attractive but encompassing a set of character traits that clicks with the personality of a liar. The liars admire you, and that drives them to try and impress you — to make you admire them. And they will lie to achieve that. Do you have a high status? Are you in a position of power? Are you an employer. Are you a teacher, where you get to grade your students? You have influence on their status at school, at home as the favorite child , are you standing between someone and their dream college your recommendation would be crucial? Are you someone accomplished, whose opinion can make or break someone in society?
If you have any sort of influence or control over others, expect to be lied to more often. You have something they desire, or worse, something they believe they are entitled to, then they will lie to you. Or they could just be trying to suck up. They will give you compliments.
Hymn - Coming Home / Too Many Lies (, Vinyl) | Discogs
They will try to get you to admire them more than they deserve. They will try to become your friend.
To enter your social circle. Maybe you can introduce them to someone else, who can change their lives for the better? Maybe you will see them as more favorable for promotion? Most of the qualities that make other people to lie to are harmless. They work for your life for the best, and being lied to is just a side effect.
That is not always the case. Sometimes it is completely your fault.
If you are going through a tough moment and it feels like you are being lied to too often and that does not even begin to scratch the surface of all of your unfortunes, take a hard look at yourself. It could be something you are doing wrong. Fix that and the lying will go away, along with other things. Do you remember at school there was that one scary teacher you could not force yourself to talk to? Or that scary co-worker or… your boss? Are you that person to someone? Scary people come in many different forms. Bullies is one of them. They intimidate people by their mere presence. And that makes it that much more mandatory for the scared to lie.
I mean I was late, but there was such bad traffic. Maybe you are just going through a particularly difficult time. If your image is you are too fragile, and people know that, there will be situations where they will be quite reluctant to say to you something that you will not want to hear. They will be scared of your reaction and of the consequences your soul will face because of their big mouth. The truth will break you. So they will tell you a lie. Imagine you are the CEO, for example, of a big company. Your workers will act according to your behavior. Or it could be your ego.
Say you are a beautiful model or an actress. Your confidence is a huge part of your career. Even if something is wrong, people around you will be willing to keep you in the dark in order to keep your energy high. When a beloved one is sick in the family, parents protect their kids by embellishing the story.